Baby yoga is all the rage. I mean, who doesn’t want to practice with their perfect and precious little one? The songs, the poses, the outfits are just too cute, right? But how to do yoga with a baby is on your mind. What do you need? How do you start? Alas…
How to do yoga with a baby
Get your mat, water, and materials. Get baby. Take a breath. Notice a unique smell. Get diaper and wipes. Wrangle baby. Change baby. Wipe the evidence off the poor Manduka mat. Sit baby in lap and recommence breathing.
Start stretching. “Snap, crackle, pop”. You hear it. Pretend not to recognize the cacophony corroborating your age. Honor your desire to go into child’s pose while you kiss your baby’s adorable piggy toes. Protect your eyes from their leg’s reflex of jubilation. Industrial strength goggles are cheap and classy.
Go ahead and do some sun salutations. Bark at baby in downward-facing dog. Pick up terrified child who does not share your love of Fidos everywhere. Go easy on the barks, you decide. Nah, that’s too much. Your arms are already done. Settle for some cat/cows.
Song time! “Oh shit” you think. “What are the words to that cool, new baby song?” Sing a little. Baby is decidedly bored enough to squirm and give you “the eye”. Settle for the old, graphic, and unfortunate ending nursery rhymes of your youth.
Attempt standing poses while baby paws at you and clicks their tongue. “Let’s get through this”. Baby: “LOL, no”. Sit back down. Relinquish the next twenty minutes to baby’s need to solve his apparent starvation issue. Meditate?
Try to stand again. Oh good. You guys are trees. Steady trees in the wind. This feels nice. So you try squats and arm lifts. It’s time to get serious. A rumble. An exorcism worthy spew follows. Get the wipes and a towel. Strip down to your sports bra.
Lie down for final relaxation. Snuggle. Feel your heart swell as baby closes her eyes and rests her head on your chest. This is yoga.
And now you know how to do yoga with a baby.